Did everybody miss me? Ok, guess you didn’t realize I hadn’t pumped out a post in more than a month. Does this hurt my feelings? No because you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder (though they also say out of sight out of mind, so I’m not sure if “they” are a trustworthy source for quips of advice). I believe my month long hiatus was well deserved after a 12 day non-stop Christmas Special themed blog series. You may be wondering what any of this has to do with the title, and that would be nothing. Sorry for boring you with a bit of an intro talking about my return from my break. At least I didn’t do the super corny and lame thing and wish everybody a Happy New Year (wait, does that count as saying it?).
If you guessed, this blog post is about eyesight (not hindsight because that would be more of a year in review kind of thing and that’s just isn’t me). Well, this post is inspired, like my other posts, by a real life event in my life. It was a couple of weeks ago when I went in to get my eyes examined. It was one of the luckiest eye exams I have ever had; well, as lucky as an eye appointment can get. Firstly, some of you may not know but I have extremely bad eyesight. I hide it well though…I wear contacts. I actually wear the 30 Night and Day lenses (not to be confused with 30 Days of Night, which is a horrible movie about Alaskan Vampires) which have been approved for continuous wear. Anyways, point being I hardly ever wear glasses. I also play a game when I wear my glasses which will be further discussed later.
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| Seriously awful movie, I believe I fell asleep during it, like I did when I tried watching 300. |
Back to the lucky eye appointment, well, firstly I found out that I had overcome an astigmatism in my left eye. Now, the astigmatism really didn’t bother me much except that the contacts had to be specialty and thus more money. So, my left eye basically manned up and fixed itself to save me money. Also, something that was pretty darn cool about my contacts during this appointment is that after the exam, my left and right contact prescriptions were the exact same. I believe that was the first time that had ever happened in my life. It may seem pretty insignificant to you who don’t wear contacts but for us contact wearers, it is really exciting. For the next year or so I don’t have to worry about whether I’m putting the correct contact into the correct eye. I am trying my best to withhold my excitement about this but just so you know, I am actually as giddy as a school girl (which I hear is pretty darned giddy). Now, I’m giddy about my cheaper and matching contacts, but that’s not where the luckiness ends.
Normally I have to get my eyes dilated which means I have to wear those really dark shades and light will give me a headache for the next few hours afterwards. Well, you guessed it; I didn’t have to get my eyes dilated. Since my optometrist was in a hurry since it was the end of the day she opted to do the digital imaging of my eyes, which normally costs $35. That’s right, I saved money on my contacts, I got a $35 procedure for free, and I didn’t have to wear those stupid dark shades and I could enjoy watching TV headache free (well, depending on what I watched). Now, I’m pretty well set as far as my eyes go, I just need to get a new pair of glasses.
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| Just adding a caption for poops and chuckles. |
Well, I know you all skipped down to this part to find out what game I play when I wear my glasses. I will apologize because it is not very thrilling. I call it “How Blind Am I?” and this is how you play. While wearing your glasses you find something in the room with fairly large print, like a poster or banner. Then you remove your glasses and attempt to read the text. Sadly, there isn’t a winner in this game, everyone who plays is losing their eyesight thus they are losers (meaning the having lost something, not like somebody who is lame and uncool, glasses don’t automatically make you lame, or smart). Now, I still have not gone out for new glasses yet, but I think I’m going to go with something bolder than all my previous glasses (the thin wire framed kind). I will have at least one person with me to help pick them out though, so hopefully I will find a good pair (or two depending on sales).
To those of you who have perfect eyesight and haven’t had to deal with contacts or transition lens that take to long to transition thus making you look like a tool, this post was not meant for you. This one was meant for my fellow four eyed friends.
May you all see well,
-LD
Very funny I will have to read more of your post
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