7 Days Later: A Black Friday Blog

When I was young, my mother used to wake me up at the crack of dawn and drag me out to the car so we could meet my Aunt Rhonda and Cousin Andy at a predetermined parking lot.  This wasn’t for a drug deal, but for something that some may say is far more sinister.  This was for that one day a year that comes after the day of turkey, family and mac & cheese (see previous post).  This was Black Friday.  As a child I was never very enthusiastic about this event.  My cousin and I would mainly just goof off while our mothers became super shoppers on a mission.  I used to think my mom was insane for willing going through this madness every year.  After last Friday though, I have a new theory.  My mother and aunt weren’t crazy.  They were just inefficient. 

A cartoon that is all too real

Actually, compared to my Black Friday experience last Friday, I guess a lot of Black Friday Shoppers could be considered inefficient.  I’ve heard of a lot of different people’s plans for Black Friday, and compared to the one my friends Tad and Amanda devised, others were just lacking.  I’m not trying to belittle anybody else’s Black Friday experience, just to elevate mine.  I’m just saying, not many could have completed a Black Friday shopping trip and still have time to pick up McDonald's Breakfast (I’m not a huge fan of McDonald's, but I do love their breakfast) and show up at work an hour early (which was 7:30 am).  Many who don’t already have the day off work have to take a vacation day so they can go out and shop on that day of door busting deals they call Black Friday.  In fact, I work in a locked room as part of a confidential team consisting of 3 people (maybe someday I will talk about my confidential job…not the confidential aspect of course though).  All 3 of us ended up shopping on Black Friday, but only one of us didn’t take the day off ( I already mentioned that I came into work an hour early, but to settle any confusion, I was the one who didn’t take the day off).  This is what I am talking about when I say most Black Friday participants are inefficient.

My Black Friday experience began about a week before Black Friday even happened.  It all started with a commitment.  This was more of an enrollment to a Black Friday Ops (a failed attempt at a play on words with Call of Duty Black Ops) because we were more than just a shopping group, we were a squad.  The group had actually started with more, but in the end two people in particular flaked out (this is me calling you out Brad and Bekah Thomas).  It ended up working out just fine though.  Let me just state this now that even though I am typing out this blog of the experience, the real planning was done by Tad and Amanda.  I was just lucky enough to be a part of their plan.  As I had stated, this started out a week before Black Friday, and involved all of us making out list (and checking it twice) from the online leaked Black Friday Ads (Tad and Amanda had provided a great site called www.BlackFriday.info).  From this list, Tad and Amanda were able to devise a plot to conqueror Black Friday.  In essence, we were going to divide and conqueror, and from that list, we split the task between 3 stores; Wal-Mart, Target, and Best Buy.  Essentially, Amanda took Wal-Mart and Tad took Target and I was left with Best Buy (though Tad was at all 3).

I only have second hand stories about Wal-Mart and Target.  From what I was told, Amanda had quite an experience at Wal-mart.  Her main objective was a video camera and there was a limited number.  She was able to create an alliance (there wear only verbal treaties, nothing in writing) with I believe 5 others who were also wanting the same camera.  Amanda and our Allies by association all surrounded and created a barrier around the cameras since they didn’t go on sale until 5 am.  This tactic worked just dandy because she did in fact get her camera.  Tad’s experience at Target wasn’t too out of the ordinary compared to others on Black Friday.  Busy lines, crowded beyond belief, can barely walk, and lots of deals.  But I didn’t hear of any newly formed alliance formed at Target.  This leads to my assignment at Best Buy.

 While I was standing outside of Best Buy in the freezing cold (literally freezing, it was below 32°), I wasn’t thinking about my other comrades, I was focused on my mission.  It was a good thing I didn’t think of my fellow squad members, because I would’ve realized that Amanda was inside and that Tad would be inside an hour before me.  The others in the line were not the best company.  There was a guy who thought he was funny so he would repeat his “jokes” over and over until he got some kind of acknowledgement for them.  There was a group of punk high school kids who were faking Boston accents but they kept slipping in and out of them.  Finally the foreign gentleman (I believe he was Korean) who kept asking me questions about his Best Buy ad.  I was determined to brave the cold and the company though.  There were a few bright spots though.  There was a Best Buy employee who I kept trading Dumb and Dumber quotes with whenever he passed by the line.  Also, the best part, there was a group who came out and passed out hot chocolate.  I’m not sure if they were a youth group or what kind of organization they were but they said they come out and pass out hot cocoa every Black Friday at the Best Buys.  All I really know is that everybody in the line was more than happy to see them bring steamy hot cocoa to all of us who were freezing.   I had even come pretty prepared and my toes were frozen.  Luckily, about 20 or so minutes before the Best Buy had opened I was surprised by the arrival of my fellow comrade, Tad. 

Tad and I braved the cold together until the store opened.  While we waited he reported to me of his and Amanda’s successes at Wal-Mart and Target.  Things had been going quite well for them.  Our goal of a completely successful Black Friday (a Black Friday where everybody gets everything on their list) was in sight.  Tad and I devised to divide and conqueror within Best Buy to maximize our chances of achieving this goal.  We slowly filed in and within minutes we had grab the goods and were heading towards the checkout line.  We were so quick there was hardly a wait to checkout.  We were soon finished and had planned to meet up at the W.E.B. to correctly divide the booty and figure out who owed who what.  Amanda had picked up Tad and I was on my way to my car, filled with that good feeling of accomplishing something with complete dominance, and then it happened.

I had locked my keys in my car.  This wasn’t too big a deal since I keep a spare in my wallet.  I grab the spare but to my dismay, the freezing weather had caused the door locks to freeze.  I could not get the key to turn to open the door.  The hot cocoa people had left so I couldn’t thaw it with hot cocoa.  I couldn’t go buy one of those things that unfreeze locks; Wal-Mart’s lines would’ve been too long.  I did the only thing I could do.  I got on both knees, cupped my hands around the lock and tried to thaw it by blowing hot air on it (I realize this could be misconstrued to be something dirty, but please don’t).  Eventually I was able to unlock the car door and arrive at the W.E.B. where we divided and settled everything.  I treated myself to McDonald’s breakfast and so ended one of the most successful Black Fridays in history.  Much thanks is owed to Tad and Amanda for they are the real geniuses behind the success.

I must admit, I am not the first to have the idea to write a blog about Black Friday.  In fact, mine isn’t nearly as clever or well written or artistic as my friend Amanda’s (the very same Amanda who was part of the masterminding the Black Friday group I shopped with on the very same Black Friday this blog is written) blog.  I have included a link to her blog.  Please read it.  I know it is better than mine so you should read it.  http://swedishpankakes.blogspot.com/2010/11/twas-day-after-black-friday.html  Did you read it?  Wasn’t that clever?  Ok, just be sure that you don’t just dismiss any of my future blog posts after reading hers…ok?

-LD