Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother Blogger

I hope you weren’t offended by the title but I cleaned it up pretty good.  You may be wondering what Christmas movie could possibly be connected with such a phrase.  Well, it is actually 2 movies; Die Hard and Die Hard 2: Die Harder.  You may be wondering how these action packed flicks could possibly be considered Christmas movies.  It is quite simple; they both take place during Christmas time (Lethal Weapon also takes place during Christmas time, it even starts off with a Christmas Song, but I chose to discuss Die Hard because there are 2 movies).  Die Hard even takes place on Christmas Eve.  There are several instances in both movies that reference Christmas so I feel that including them in my Christmas Specials Series.

 Die Hard, as some of you may recall, is the favorite movie of Joey, Chandler, and Ross from friends.  Ross even claims that he had the idea of Die Hard first and he had it written on a napkin (Ross also claims to have came up with Jurassic Park as well).  Why is Die Hard their favorite movie?  That’s probably because it is one of the manliest movies of all time.  John McClane is truly one tough dude.  Since that Bruce Willis played that role people instantly started seeing him as one BA dude.  One may be surprised to find out that Mr. Willis (I try to be respectful because I know he could beat me up) was actually starting up as a comedic actor.  True story, look it up on Wikipedia.  But I believe he is most famous for playing John McClane, a character who has been thwarting terrorists in 4 separate films for almost 20 years and in 3 separate decades.  Always being technically challenged but highly skilled in afflicting some major pain, John McClane is the epitamy of a die hard hero. 

We all should know that in Die Hard John defeats a gang of European Terrorists led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman better known as Professor Snape) in a skyscraper and if you don’t then you are required to watch Die Hard.  Many though, do not know what happens in the sequel.  In this one, Officer McClane takes down professionally trained mercenaries and an international drug lord at an airport in the snow.  He literally fights hand to hand with not one, but two different guys while on the wing of the plane (also, the plane is moving).  How awesome is that?  Now I will admit that Die Hard 2 is the lesser of all the Die Hards (I rate them in order from favorite to least favorite as follows; 1, 4, 3, then 2).  But even if it is lacking as far as Die Hard movies go, it is still one of the most action packed Christmas films you will have the pleasure to watch.  Also, in Die Hard 2, John and his wife, Holly, are in the best place as far as their relationship goes in all of the movies.  This makes it a bit more family friendly, just a smidge.

There is nothing like watching one man take on an entire terrorist group by himself to get you in the Christmas Spirit.  When watching you can’t help but fell all warm and full of goodwill towards men as you cheer on Officer McClane.  Well, most of us.  There is an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney confesses that he roots for Hans Gruber.  This is because in Barney’s words, “Hans Gruber, charming international bandit. In the end, he dies hard. He's the title character.”  But Barney is a fictional character so he doesn’t really count.  In fact, I think I’m going to create a new Christmas Tradition around the country.  I believe that on December 15, families shall pop popcorn and make hot cocoa and put on holiday headwear (Santa hats, Elf hats, Reindeer antlers etc) and watch one of the first 2 Die Hards.  I’m sure I could talk TNT into showing them back to back every December 15.  If TNT won’t do it then I will just go to TBS, FX, or Spike.  It could be just as big as the Christmas Story marathon on Christmas Eve.  I say we all start with this tonight, and if you are reading this too late, you can join in too.  We won’t judge if you do it on the 17^th or anytime between now and Christmas.  I think we really have a good idea here so let us all take it, and run with it. 

Merry Christmas Mother Bleep (still censoring myself)

-LD

Buddy the Elf, What's Your Favorite Blog?

As you may have noticed, I have been putting the word blog in all of my titles.  Some of them fit nicely and others (like this one) seem pretty forced, like a square peg in a round hole.  I tell you this so you won’t judge them by their title, because it isn’t easy slipping the word blog into all of these titles.  I’m sure there was a better title I could’ve used, but it is too late now so don’t judge and just read.

If you haven’t seen the movie Elf, then you are indeed missing out.  It was an instant classic and probably one of Will Ferrel’s best movies.  Actually, it is one of Will Ferrel’s best movies.  Don’t get me wrong, I think Will (that’s right, I’m on a first name basis with him) is hilarious but some of his movies are only ok.  Anchorman was a bit disappointing (though I did have high expectations for this one), Semi-Pro, Blades of Glory, Land of the Lost, Step Brothers, and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (even though the knife in the leg scene gets me every time) aren’t what you would exactly call great movies.  I did however thoroughly enjoy The Other Guys and I thought Will’s performance in Stranger Than Fiction was quite good.  But I’m not typing this out to rip on some of Will’s other movies; I’m typing this out to discuss his role as Buddy the Elf.

Buddy gives us many great quotable lines throughout the movie (who of us hasn’t answered the phone, “Buddy the elf, what’s your favorite color?”).  One of my personal favorites is actually said to Buddy by the claymation whale with the unicorn horn.  This happens when Buddy first leaves the North Pole and the whale says in a deep voice, “Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad.”  I don’t know why but I the way he says that.  There is actually a shirt depicting this scene that I kind of want to buy.  What do I mean kind of, I do want to buy it, I just don’t want to drop 20 bucks on a t-shirt.  I do have a pretty cool Christmas Story shirt that shows the kid with his tongue stuck to the pole and it says I triple dog dare you.  And back to Elf, my apologies for that brief tangent about my wardrobe.

My dad likes Elf as well.  For those of you who don’t know my father I must tell you that he doesn’t watch much TV or movies, so when he finds something he likes he quotes the crap out of it, randomly. We spent an entire family vacation saying, “How ya doin’” back and forth because it was on some beer commercial (there is a pretty good story about this involving a mama black bear and her cubs).  I tell you this so as to give you background for this story.  Earlier this year I was with my dad at Home Depot shopping for tools and what not for the patio we built (connected to my current dwellings).  My dad felt this was a good time to start quoting the movie.  He began in a very boisterous voice to sing the following words in a fashion imitating Will in the movie; “My name is Buddy, I’m singing, I’m in a store and I’m siiiiiingiiiiiing, I’m in a store, and I’m siiiiiingiiiiing!”  My father continued this for several minutes, trying to get others in Home Depot to notice in a failed attempt to embarrass me.  The moral of this story is this; if you are easily embarrassed, don’t go in public with my dad.

Jovie

Will isn’t the only star of Elf and I’m not talking about James Caan or Bob Newhart.  That’s right; I’m talking about Zooey Deschanel.  Isn’t she just so pretty?  She also has a lovely singing voice.  I also like her as an actress.  Am I gushing?  I feel like I may be gushing.  Well, who can blame me, right?  Well, I really like Zooey’s (I’m not really on a first name basis with her, I just wish I was) characters name in Elf, Jovie.  I like it because it is unique.  Every other cute girl in a Christmas movie is named Holly, Eve, Noel, or Belle (also Joy, but that is too close to Jovie to help prove my point).  I like it, it sounds jovial (I know, don’t worry, I realize why).   Also, Zooey’s character Jovie (spoiler alert) is the one who starts singing and gets everybody’s Christmas Cheer back up so Santa’s sleigh will work again making her somewhat of a Christmas Heroine (female hero, not the other one).  Now I kind of want to go watch it for the 2^nd and a half time this year (the first time I started it and didn’t finish).

“Bye reader, hope you enjoyed this post” (said in the style of the whale with the unicorn horn)

-LD

How the Grinch Stole This Blog

I just want you all to know before I even kick this series off that I do realize the 12 days of Christmas actually refers to the days after Christmas, thus one would think that my 12 holiday specials of Christmas blog series would begin after Christmas, and you would be wrong.  Nobody wants to read about Christmas after Christmas so I’m doing it now.  It will also end on Christmas Eve, because I don’t want to post anything on Christmas.  I most likely will not even get on the computer on Christmas.  With all this out of the way, let us kick off this series (also, I did not do the 1 of this and then 2 of that etc all the way up to 12 so sorry if that’s what you were expecting).

 As you should be able to tell by the title, this one is all about the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  I did just recently watch both of specials (yes, there are 2).  I watched the classic animated one first, and then the updated Jim Carrey movie.  I will tell you this, I thoroughly enjoy both of them, but there is a special place in my heart for the classic Christmas specials, so I do prefer the original animated one.  Jim Carrey and Ron Howard do an excellent job of brining the Grinch to life and expanding on the story, but I love the original.  Quick side-note, I know for a while people would argue about who was better; Jim Carrey or Adam Sandler and I just want to say that I’m on Team Carrey (that’s right, a tiny bit of a Twilight reference).  I just to clarify, It is not because this is a Christmas post and Sandler is Jewish.  Carrey is just a better actor.  Glad we got that cleared up.

If you can't tell, Original Grinch

Jim Carry as the Grinch

Here is a fun fact for you all to share with your friends and loved ones, in the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the guy who sings the classic song about the Grinch is all the same guy who does the voice of Tony the Tiger (once you know this, the next time you hear the song you will just be waiting for him to go “and he’s grrreat!”).  I learned that while watching a special about the original.  During this special I started thinking of all the different Dr. Seuss stories and characters and came to a conclusion.  The Grinch is the most BA (does not stand for Bachelor’s of Art) Dr. Seuss character there is.  There are some troublemakers and schemers and not so good guys, but none of them compare to the Grinch.  Just think about it, this guy stole Christmas not from just one Who household, but from everyone in Whoville.  Why did the Grinch go to these extreme measures?  Because his heart was 2 sizes too small is the textbook answer.  I’m going with my opinion.  He was in a bad mood so he did it out of spite.  Can any of you imagine doing nearly that much evil just out of spite?  I didn’t think so.  Even hardened criminals wouldn’t do something like that just out of spite.  Let alone, who is capable of pulling off such an incredible act in one night?  Sure, Santa brings presents to everybody in one night, but the Grinch not only stole those presents, but he also stole anything that had anything to do with Christmas.  He stole trees, stockings, decorations, and even every last crumb of food in all of Whoville.  See, it wasn’t enough that they couldn’t have Christmas favorites to eat; the Grinch decided they weren’t going to eat anything at all.  You name one other character capable of performing what the Grinch did and I will give you a candy cane (the good ones too, Hershey’s Chocolate Mint Candy Canes).

I could dissect the Grinch’s song, or the similarities and differences of the 2 versions but that just doesn’t feel like my style.  Instead, I want to point out that in the Jim Carrey version, Molly Shannon was a perfect cast as Betty Lou Who.  Not because of her acting ability (not that I have a problem, I think Molly is a very funny actress) but because she already looks kind of like a Who.  I mean no insult in this statement.  It’s just something I kind of noticed and feel this is a good place to share.  Christine Baranski kind of looks like a Who in real life as well.  If you’re not sure who she is, she played Martha May Whovier.  The one who Betty Lou Who was competing against in the Christmas light contest and she is also who both the Mayor and the Grinch have a major crush on (some of you should’ve saluted and said “Major Crush” crush out loud and some of you will not get that joke).  There is one more actress who I think looks like a Who.  I’m quite sure none of you will know here by name.  I have said from the very moment I saw her that Amy Ryan looks like a Who.  Who is Amy Ryan you may request, why she plays Holly Flax on NBC’s the Office.  But was she in How the Grinch Stole Christmas you may wonder, well then I will give you a moment to ponder.  Perhaps you are looking it up right now to see, on that site that they call IMDB.  If you did this then you probably already know, that the answer to that inquiry is a simple no.  Though she looks like a Who without even trying, she was not cast but don’t start crying.  I am done with this rhyming it isn’t much fun, so after this sentence I promise to be done.  (The attempt at writing in rhyme just sort of came to me, so don’t judge…unless it’s positive judgment).

Molly Shannon

Amy Ryan

Christine Baranski

I hope none of you readers were hoping for a complete summary of the movies, because that’s just isn’t what this series is going to be about (or my blog in general).  I hope you all stay tuned for what else is next in this Christmas Series.  I don’t want to give anything away (mainly because I haven’t thought this through yet, I don’t even have the 12 topics picked) but I can promise that there will be some stop-motion Christmas Classics, as well as at least one for the Muppets.  I also plan on maybe doing some more obscure ones, not sure yet.  All I can say is I plan to follow through with one a day for the next 11 days (oh, also, I wasn’t kidding when I said I would give you a candy cane if you thought of a more BA Dr. Seuss Character).

Merry Christmas (since the Grinch did bring Christmas back…oops sorry…should’ve said Spoiler Alert)

-LD

The Great Muppet Blog

Firstly, I would like to thank any of you who actually did read my last blog post.  If you did, you would’ve seen that the last line had a hint to what this blog post’s topic would be and that hint was Electric Mayhem.  If you knew that Electric Mayhem (also known as Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem) was the name of the Muppet rock band lead by Dr. Teeth and featuring Animal on drums.  I just want to give a bit of a heads up because this post is going to be more of a high overview on my outlook on Muppets.  There are bound to be many posts to come that are Muppet themed.  In fact, expect at least one more Muppet themed one before Christmas (I literally just decided that the 12 days before Christmas I’m going to do a daily series called the 12 Christmas Movie Specials of Christmas). 

This topic was actually inspired by a young man who will not be named (Jason Simon…that’s right, I went back and decided to name names, so what) who saddened me when he confessed to not knowing who the Swedish Chef was (Bork, bork, bork).   It was after a recital and like usual the family had prepared and set out a few refreshments (I do not recall what all exactly was included in the spread).  Anyways, something came up about Swedish meatballs, and I began to quote the Swedish Chef with my best, “Bork, bork, bork” impression.  All those in the circle either giggled or at least smirked, except this young lad.  He had more of a quizzical look on his face.  I then felt the need to respond to his quizzical look by explaining my impression, “Ya know, the Swedish Chef…from the Muppets.”  He admitted then and there that he was unfamiliar with the Muppets and that he especially did not know who the Swedish Chef was.  I little bit of me may have died right then because I had been living under the assumption that everybody knew about the Muppets.  It has become my mission to inform the world…ok, just those who may happen upon this blog.

I LOVE the Muppets.  I feel if you didn’t watch Disney or Muppets (Sesame Street counts) as a child you were deprived and that is some form of abuse.   The Muppets are the definite puppet embodiment of true friendship.  Don’t let me forget to mention that they are also exceptionally entertaining, from songs and grand musical numbers to wit and one liners to the just plain wacky.  I’ve tried to see as much of the Muppet entertainment there is, but I must confess I fall short.  There are a few specials I haven’t seen and quite a few episodes of The Muppet Show, Muppet Babies, Muppets Tonight and even some of the YouTube videos (though Bohemian Rhapsody was amazing, link included http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY).   I’m trying not to go into too much detail for fear of boring you the reader (but how could the Muppets ever be boring?).  As I said earlier, this is just a high overview.

I must confess; my library of Muppet entertainment is pretty skimpy.  I have only one physical movie which is It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie.  I picked it up for 6 bucks and it came with a 9 track Christmas CD.  That was the highlight of my day.  I also have just the first season of the Muppet Show.  I’ve seen season 3 (Fozzie Bear is on the cover) in the stores but refuse to purchase it until I have season 2 (Miss Piggy is on the cover).  I have never seen season 2, but others have so I know it exists.  I do have both Muppets take Manhattan and Muppets from Space sitting in my Netflix instant queue (side note, I love Netflix too).  I really need to get the other main movies though.  Firstly, Muppets Christmas Carol if I can get it before Christmas, then Muppet Treasure Island, gotta love Cabin Fever, then Great Muppet Caper, the first Muppet Movie I saw, and finally, the Muppet Movie.  I’ve seen them all and they are all worth a view.

While we are on the topic of movies I have a nugget of info for all of you fellow Muppet fans.  Some of you may know of Jason Segel, if not he is Marshall on How I Met Your Mother, he was in I Love You Man, he is the guy you showed his dong like 9 times in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and he has been in lots of other things.  If you are a fan of his, or Muppets, then you will be excited as I was to hear that he is working on a brand new Muppet movie.  One of the rumored titles is The Greatest Muppet Movie.  But if the title isn’t enough, here is a quick list of rumored actors and actresses whether it be cameo or larger role; Amy Adams, Zach Galifianakis, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Rashida Jones, Mickey Rooney, Ricky Gervais, Billy Crystal, Charles Grodin, Rachael Ray, and of course Jason Segel.  I’m totally pumped for this film due out in theaters sometime in 2011.  If this news of upcoming Muppet awesomeness did not put a smile on your face than you sir or madam are cold and may not have a soul.

I would like all to know that this was typed while I was wearing my Kermit the Frog shirt, because it’s not easy being green (my shirt doesn’t say that though).  I hope this wasn’t too high of an overview, I promise to get more into Muppet detail in time.  I also didn’t want 2 old men in the balcony to start heckling me.  I was also worried I’d miss my poker game with Rizzo, Gonzo, and Pepe okay?  I also didn’t want to forget to leave time to give Lips, Janice, and Sergeant Floyd Peppers a lift to band practice.  Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker also wanted me to lend them a hand on an experiment.  Not to mention Scooter keeps bugging me about other things I have on my schedule with Sam Eagle, Sweetums and Rowlf.  Until another time I guess readers.

Waka, Waka, Waka

-LD

Rubik's Blog

I’m sure we have all seen one of those colorful cube-shaped puzzles.  The majority of all of you have even played around and attempted to solve one.  Then there are still a lot of you who have successfully solved one of the sides (doesn’t matter whether it was red, yellow, orange, blue, green or white…a side is a side).  But, I’m quite sure that very few of you have ever seen one completely solved (I’m talking in real life, that scene where Will Smith solves one in the Pursuit of Happiness doesn’t count).  Here is the real question though; how many of you have successfully solved one from start to finish by yourself?  I have (yes, I am bragging a bit).

I enjoy puzzles, from Sudoku to the standard jigsaw (there is currently a 1000 piece Planet Earth puzzle on my counter…it is extremely difficult).  I guess finishing one gives me an opportunity to self-aggrandize (I love this term and decided I wanted to try to use it more) myself.  Anyways, about 2 years ago I decided I wanted to purchase one of these Rubik’s Cubes which were oh so popular in the 80’s.  After a few weeks of frustration, only able to get one side solved at a time, I went to the Internet for guidance.  Some of the sites out there just gave you detailed step by step instructions; they didn’t really teach you how to solve the puzzle.  I wanted to learn, so I found a site that broke down the mathematical algorithms used and I taught myself how to use them to crack the code of the cube.  I can still solve it since I taught myself how, instead of just following steps.  Maybe someday you can watch as I marvel you with my Rubik’s Cube solving talents.

It’s been fun knowing how to solve it.  Friends would attempt to mess it up beyond solving (which is impossible without actually changing the stickers on the cube).  One time my Rubik’s Cube solving ability was even used to get a Buffalo Wild Wings waitress’s number (I didn’t follow up, I never follow up on a waitress’s number, I feel bad because I only ask for them out of peer pressure or bets).  There were even times while drinking where others would see how many drinks I could have while still being able to still solve the cube (I’ve solved it after 4, but I’ve never attempted 5 because interest is usually lost by the other drinkers).  The only other “game” that pops to mind is how fast I could solve it.  I’m not 100% sure, but I believe my fastest time is 1 minute 42 seconds.  This is by no means a World Record, but still kind of impressive.

This Fancy Cube Goes for Approximately $68.00

 Like I said previously, the Rubik’s Cube was wildly popular in the 80’s (along with big hair and shoulder pads).  There have been many different types designs from pastel colors to Transformers (I want this one) to even a Juicy Couture one.  The Juicy Couture one is actually what inspired this blog.  I was on a business trip and my manager, coworkers and I were at the mall in the Lord & Taylor store looking at how expensive things were there.  We happened by a stand with a bunch of overly priced trinkets, among them was a Rubik’s Cube by Juicy Couture (for $68).  I picked one up and was messing with it and started to solve it.  My manager and coworkers were just standing there watching as I solved the extremely expensive cube.  They were wowed; none of them had seen somebody solve one before.  Now I’m going to lie and say that because of my puzzle solving abilities my manager gave me a huge raise.  I tell this lie because it betters the story.  My apologies for the seemingly abrupt ending to this blog post, but I fear I don’t have much more to discuss about the Rubik’s Cube.  Don’t disregard my blog too quickly though.  I promise the next post will be a good one.  Here is a small hint…Electric Mayhem.

-LD

7 Days Later: A Black Friday Blog

When I was young, my mother used to wake me up at the crack of dawn and drag me out to the car so we could meet my Aunt Rhonda and Cousin Andy at a predetermined parking lot.  This wasn’t for a drug deal, but for something that some may say is far more sinister.  This was for that one day a year that comes after the day of turkey, family and mac & cheese (see previous post).  This was Black Friday.  As a child I was never very enthusiastic about this event.  My cousin and I would mainly just goof off while our mothers became super shoppers on a mission.  I used to think my mom was insane for willing going through this madness every year.  After last Friday though, I have a new theory.  My mother and aunt weren’t crazy.  They were just inefficient. 

A cartoon that is all too real

Actually, compared to my Black Friday experience last Friday, I guess a lot of Black Friday Shoppers could be considered inefficient.  I’ve heard of a lot of different people’s plans for Black Friday, and compared to the one my friends Tad and Amanda devised, others were just lacking.  I’m not trying to belittle anybody else’s Black Friday experience, just to elevate mine.  I’m just saying, not many could have completed a Black Friday shopping trip and still have time to pick up McDonald's Breakfast (I’m not a huge fan of McDonald's, but I do love their breakfast) and show up at work an hour early (which was 7:30 am).  Many who don’t already have the day off work have to take a vacation day so they can go out and shop on that day of door busting deals they call Black Friday.  In fact, I work in a locked room as part of a confidential team consisting of 3 people (maybe someday I will talk about my confidential job…not the confidential aspect of course though).  All 3 of us ended up shopping on Black Friday, but only one of us didn’t take the day off ( I already mentioned that I came into work an hour early, but to settle any confusion, I was the one who didn’t take the day off).  This is what I am talking about when I say most Black Friday participants are inefficient.

My Black Friday experience began about a week before Black Friday even happened.  It all started with a commitment.  This was more of an enrollment to a Black Friday Ops (a failed attempt at a play on words with Call of Duty Black Ops) because we were more than just a shopping group, we were a squad.  The group had actually started with more, but in the end two people in particular flaked out (this is me calling you out Brad and Bekah Thomas).  It ended up working out just fine though.  Let me just state this now that even though I am typing out this blog of the experience, the real planning was done by Tad and Amanda.  I was just lucky enough to be a part of their plan.  As I had stated, this started out a week before Black Friday, and involved all of us making out list (and checking it twice) from the online leaked Black Friday Ads (Tad and Amanda had provided a great site called www.BlackFriday.info).  From this list, Tad and Amanda were able to devise a plot to conqueror Black Friday.  In essence, we were going to divide and conqueror, and from that list, we split the task between 3 stores; Wal-Mart, Target, and Best Buy.  Essentially, Amanda took Wal-Mart and Tad took Target and I was left with Best Buy (though Tad was at all 3).

I only have second hand stories about Wal-Mart and Target.  From what I was told, Amanda had quite an experience at Wal-mart.  Her main objective was a video camera and there was a limited number.  She was able to create an alliance (there wear only verbal treaties, nothing in writing) with I believe 5 others who were also wanting the same camera.  Amanda and our Allies by association all surrounded and created a barrier around the cameras since they didn’t go on sale until 5 am.  This tactic worked just dandy because she did in fact get her camera.  Tad’s experience at Target wasn’t too out of the ordinary compared to others on Black Friday.  Busy lines, crowded beyond belief, can barely walk, and lots of deals.  But I didn’t hear of any newly formed alliance formed at Target.  This leads to my assignment at Best Buy.

 While I was standing outside of Best Buy in the freezing cold (literally freezing, it was below 32°), I wasn’t thinking about my other comrades, I was focused on my mission.  It was a good thing I didn’t think of my fellow squad members, because I would’ve realized that Amanda was inside and that Tad would be inside an hour before me.  The others in the line were not the best company.  There was a guy who thought he was funny so he would repeat his “jokes” over and over until he got some kind of acknowledgement for them.  There was a group of punk high school kids who were faking Boston accents but they kept slipping in and out of them.  Finally the foreign gentleman (I believe he was Korean) who kept asking me questions about his Best Buy ad.  I was determined to brave the cold and the company though.  There were a few bright spots though.  There was a Best Buy employee who I kept trading Dumb and Dumber quotes with whenever he passed by the line.  Also, the best part, there was a group who came out and passed out hot chocolate.  I’m not sure if they were a youth group or what kind of organization they were but they said they come out and pass out hot cocoa every Black Friday at the Best Buys.  All I really know is that everybody in the line was more than happy to see them bring steamy hot cocoa to all of us who were freezing.   I had even come pretty prepared and my toes were frozen.  Luckily, about 20 or so minutes before the Best Buy had opened I was surprised by the arrival of my fellow comrade, Tad. 

Tad and I braved the cold together until the store opened.  While we waited he reported to me of his and Amanda’s successes at Wal-Mart and Target.  Things had been going quite well for them.  Our goal of a completely successful Black Friday (a Black Friday where everybody gets everything on their list) was in sight.  Tad and I devised to divide and conqueror within Best Buy to maximize our chances of achieving this goal.  We slowly filed in and within minutes we had grab the goods and were heading towards the checkout line.  We were so quick there was hardly a wait to checkout.  We were soon finished and had planned to meet up at the W.E.B. to correctly divide the booty and figure out who owed who what.  Amanda had picked up Tad and I was on my way to my car, filled with that good feeling of accomplishing something with complete dominance, and then it happened.

I had locked my keys in my car.  This wasn’t too big a deal since I keep a spare in my wallet.  I grab the spare but to my dismay, the freezing weather had caused the door locks to freeze.  I could not get the key to turn to open the door.  The hot cocoa people had left so I couldn’t thaw it with hot cocoa.  I couldn’t go buy one of those things that unfreeze locks; Wal-Mart’s lines would’ve been too long.  I did the only thing I could do.  I got on both knees, cupped my hands around the lock and tried to thaw it by blowing hot air on it (I realize this could be misconstrued to be something dirty, but please don’t).  Eventually I was able to unlock the car door and arrive at the W.E.B. where we divided and settled everything.  I treated myself to McDonald’s breakfast and so ended one of the most successful Black Fridays in history.  Much thanks is owed to Tad and Amanda for they are the real geniuses behind the success.

I must admit, I am not the first to have the idea to write a blog about Black Friday.  In fact, mine isn’t nearly as clever or well written or artistic as my friend Amanda’s (the very same Amanda who was part of the masterminding the Black Friday group I shopped with on the very same Black Friday this blog is written) blog.  I have included a link to her blog.  Please read it.  I know it is better than mine so you should read it.  http://swedishpankakes.blogspot.com/2010/11/twas-day-after-black-friday.html  Did you read it?  Wasn’t that clever?  Ok, just be sure that you don’t just dismiss any of my future blog posts after reading hers…ok?

-LD

Cheesy Blog

“So, I’ve been thinking about it…and it would be very hard for me to turn down anything that has the words ‘double cheese’ in it.”  This is a quote from a very grate man. (Get it?  Grate instead of great because you grate cheese.  It was a good pun and you know it.)  Ok, fine, I’m the one who said it.  I recall it was after lunch at Arby’s with the Thomas family.  Arby’s, at the time, had a double cheese Texas Toast sandwich which I had partaken in at lunch.  I had made the quoted remark to my, at the time, roommate Nate Thomas.  At first he looked at me like I was going to say something very prolific and thought provoking.  Well, I guess in a way I did.

Cheese is pretty amazing if you stop and think about it.  There are so many varieties of cheese; Swiss, Provolone, Cheddar, American, Colby, Jack, Parmesan, Mozzarella, Nacho, Government, and so on.  Cheese is also one of a few food items that are actually added to other foods to make them taste better.  Joining cheese in that category are; gravy, chocolate, and bacon (I believe Jim Gaffigan has covered the topic of bacon quite well enough so I won’t go into detail).  I myself never fell for the cheese and broccoli scam but numerous kids are tricked into eating broccoli every year just by the addition of cheese.  Even in high school I along with loads of fellow classmates would use nacho cheese to better our bland school lunches.  My high school (Churubusco High School) had started to offer nachos as a lunch alternative.  The nachos only consisted of a small bag of tortilla chips and packet of nacho cheese (which could be purchased separately).  We would purchase these nacho packets separately and add them to a variety of main dishes.  I applied nacho cheese to a variety of items such as; the cheeseburger, chili dog, grilled chicken, tacos, and more.  My classmates even applied nacho cheese to even more than me, including the mac & cheese. (Now I can’t help but think about mac & cheese, I know I had something else about adding cheese to make food taste better).  Also, parmesan shakers…enough said.

I do love mac & cheese.  If mac & cheese is offered as a side dish at a restaurant, you can just about guarantee that I’m going to select it.  I’ve sampled a variety of mac & cheeses, from restaurants to carry-ins to out of a box (or cup be it Kraft Easy Mac).  I must admit though that the best mac & cheese I have ever had the pleasure of eating is the Davis Family Baked Mac & Cheese.  This specialty is only prepared for the major holidays and it is always a hit.  When I was a kid I would go back for extra mac & cheese instead of dessert (I’m not a big dessert fan anyway).  I actually recently just made my first batch of this family secret (it was delicious and I ate it all…by myself).  To put it plainly, mac & cheese is flat out good, whether it is homemade or comes in a Kraft blue box.

My Batch of the Davis Family Baked Mac & Cheese

I will wrap up this blog with a little advice.  Quality counts, so don’t settle for Kroger brand American cheese slices…get the Kraft, your taste buds will thank me (that’s right, thank me not you).  Also, when you are making hillbilly nachos, don’t skimp on the cheese (this tip applies to more than just hillbilly nachos).  Make sure every chip is covered with cheese, whether it is Cheddar, Colby Jack, or the Mexican blend.  Finally, when at a restaurant, cheese is always worth the extra charge.  Whether it be for your burger or scrambled eggs, go ahead and add cheese.  I’m dead serious about all of these tips.  Sincerely, I’d like to thank all 2 of you who read this.

[In the style of Ron Burgundy]

Stay Cheesy Blog Readers  (I had to)